you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
