we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Randomize
