Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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