dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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