They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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