I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
you never un-have a 4some
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
