please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
The convent might be a nice break from real life
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
