...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
