Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
