im gay
i know
yea but for you.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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