Im at strip club and am horny
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
My vagina just recognized that song.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
