whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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