Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
