Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Randomize
