He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
