Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
