okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
