Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
