coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
