It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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