The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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