Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
