Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You don't know the capacity of my vagina