My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
3pm strippers are depressing
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
