Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public. http://tfl.nu/c7j6
  Replies (3) Good night (537) Bad night (759)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back? http://tfl.nu/wmx0
  Replies (66) Good night (1911) Bad night (3379)
• Favorite

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (580): Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged. http://tfl.nu/xha8
  Replies (57) Good night (2269) Bad night (4415)
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (712): it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe http://tfl.nu/5ing
  Replies (14) Good night (3603) Bad night (1315)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out. http://tfl.nu/k8va
  Replies (21) Good night (828) Bad night (4557)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator. http://tfl.nu/65uw
  Replies (15) Good night (1364) Bad night (4390)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m. http://tfl.nu/vqeg
  Replies (9) Good night (751) Bad night (2122)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (701): A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case. http://tfl.nu/jpiw
  Replies (13) Good night (4117) Bad night (777)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry

  (1-307): View more from Wyoming

  I'm hurrying

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Dude. She just shit herself.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (307): Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry (1-307): I'm hurrying (307): Dude. She just shit herself. http://tfl.nu/4o8b
  Replies (21) Good night (842) Bad night (3974)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms. http://tfl.nu/qnq5
  Replies (18) Good night (1814) Bad night (791)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.

  (231): View more from Michigan

  The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (231): I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck. (231): The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter http://tfl.nu/we4f
  Replies (10) Good night (550) Bad night (1726)
• Favorite

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (808): Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex http://tfl.nu/i4z0
  Replies (13) Good night (558) Bad night (3027)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (316): Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though. http://tfl.nu/dlfh
  Replies (1) Good night (439) Bad night (923)
• Favorite

  (771): View more from

  i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (771): i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey. http://tfl.nu/c3n2
  Replies (11) Good night (487) Bad night (1081)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie. http://tfl.nu/o30z
  Replies (2) Good night (505) Bad night (231)

Randomize