Texts From Last Night

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  (425): View more from Washington

  Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?

  (1-425): View more from Washington

  I hate you

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  (425): Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs? (1-425): I hate you http://tfl.nu/19l9
  Replies (14) Good night (3977) Bad night (486)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  well look at the bright side

  (440): View more from Ohio

  maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"

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  (440): well look at the bright side (440): maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant" http://tfl.nu/k7gn
  Replies (6) Good night (685) Bad night (3598)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?

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  (701): how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am? http://tfl.nu/mmwh
  Replies (6) Good night (3625) Bad night (884)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.

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  (248): We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment. http://tfl.nu/088o
  Replies (3) Good night (2662) Bad night (654)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP

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  (630): This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP http://tfl.nu/camw
  Replies (11) Good night (4952) Bad night (1453)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?

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  (715): His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him? http://tfl.nu/r9a3
  Replies (21) Good night (1246) Bad night (1649)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.

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  (407): work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss. http://tfl.nu/700o
  Replies (15) Good night (2714) Bad night (549)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"

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  (802): Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way" http://tfl.nu/zpi3
  Replies (7) Good night (1037) Bad night (710)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.

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  (330): I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library. http://tfl.nu/xc6t
  Replies (6) Good night (1163) Bad night (421)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up

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  (619): Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up http://tfl.nu/pxnj
  Replies (3) Good night (796) Bad night (470)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad

  (1-613): View more from Ontario

  I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.

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  (613): Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad (1-613): I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it. http://tfl.nu/4mo6
  Replies (0) Good night (875) Bad night (423)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.

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  (604): I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner. http://tfl.nu/27g8
  Replies (7) Good night (1209) Bad night (463)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?

  (1+61): View more from

  Mobile recharge?

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  (+61): What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls? (1+61): Mobile recharge? http://tfl.nu/wf5a
  Replies (2) Good night (919) Bad night (317)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.

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  (231): My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting. http://tfl.nu/ksju
  Replies (3) Good night (526) Bad night (278)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.

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  (719): I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared. http://tfl.nu/v8f7
  Replies (8) Good night (1532) Bad night (418)

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