Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."

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  (212): so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to." http://tfl.nu/pyn2
  Replies (16) Good night (519) Bad night (1314) Order T-Shirt
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk

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  (312): I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk http://tfl.nu/cjl6
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  (650): View more from California

  in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",

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  (650): in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL", http://tfl.nu/9mnv
  Replies (24) Good night (2768) Bad night (2236)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...

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  (540): And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good... http://tfl.nu/zb2a
  Replies (44) Good night (1125) Bad night (9468) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....

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  (248): Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs.... http://tfl.nu/1yzr
  Replies (19) Good night (2759) Bad night (979) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I feel like my teeth are sweating.

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  (970): I feel like my teeth are sweating. http://tfl.nu/98tq
  Replies (9) Good night (1038) Bad night (1969) Order T-Shirt
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.

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  (775): he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me. http://tfl.nu/rwrr
  Replies (37) Good night (3009) Bad night (4879) Order T-Shirt
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.

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  (269): We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all. http://tfl.nu/epk0
  Replies (4) Good night (1673) Bad night (666) Order T-Shirt
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.

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  (708): There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit. http://tfl.nu/svzs
  Replies (5) Good night (2351) Bad night (519)
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."

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  (478): Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like." http://tfl.nu/6r4y
  Replies (6) Good night (1025) Bad night (507)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.

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  (404): So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care. http://tfl.nu/6j38
  Replies (16) Good night (901) Bad night (1657) Order T-Shirt
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.

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  (780): After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard. http://tfl.nu/ug22
  Replies (7) Good night (1463) Bad night (414) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?

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  (612): I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night? http://tfl.nu/y0ry
  Replies (1) Good night (836) Bad night (183) Order T-Shirt
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  (253): View more from Washington

  it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.

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  (253): it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting. http://tfl.nu/k4ds
  Replies (2) Good night (456) Bad night (223) Order T-Shirt
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!

  (905): View more from Ontario

  I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.

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  (905): At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance! (905): I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more. http://tfl.nu/b1ur
  Replies (2) Good night (843) Bad night (151)

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