normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
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His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
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Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
