im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.