Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
