The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize