Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
