i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
