look no pants
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
