I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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