I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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