Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
