Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
i drank out of a bidet.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
