Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
