i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
