dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
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