Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
