turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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