no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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