I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize