i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
