i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Shame is for Republicans.
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