tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
