dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
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