Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
