When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
