he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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