How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
