This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
