Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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