he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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