hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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