i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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