She just used a chaser for red wine.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
