she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Randomize
