He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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