if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
