By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Text me some of your sweat
Pooping to opera.
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