I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
