Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
