Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
