My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
