Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
