Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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