I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
