Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
